Saturday, March 28, 2009

Squirrel-capades Episode 1: And then there were two…

DSC00313 Anyone who knows me knows I love to garden.  If it weren’t for all the upkeep that I don’t really want right now (and the fact that I travel so much), I’d have a house, just so I could have a garden. 




I make do with container gardens on my balcony; flower boxes,  large potters,  and a trellis.  I love sweet peas, morning glories, hydrangeas and geraniums. 


Anyone who knows I love to garden knows I hate squirrels.  I mean HATE them.  London is rampant with squirrels all year round.  I hate the noise they make, I hate the trail of peanut shells they leave, I hate their beady little eyes and their bushy tails.  But most of all, I HATE how they destroy my garden.  I can’t even begin to add up the money that has been dug up by those damn squirrels.

I have a downstairs neighbor (I live on the 2nd floor), God bless her, but she feeds the birds and the squirrels and so they are always around. I’ve tried cayenne pepper on the soil, I’ve tried squirting them with water (only works when you catch them) and the only thing that seems to remotely work, sometimes, is blood meal.  The smell drives them away, but drives me away too, and attracts an awful amount of flies if you don’t mix it into the soil well enough.  You also have to keep applying it, or the smell comes back and so do the squirrels.  The thought of a paint gun or bb-gun has often come to mind….but I digress.

I decided to take advantage of the good weather and sweep the balcony before it rains tomorrow.  That’s when I was cleaning up my planting shelf and found this:


One of my garden tools.  Notice anything suspicious? Lets take a closer look, shall we:





That’s right.  Apparently all the bird seed and peanuts in the world does not compare to the tastiness that is plastic on a $3 garden tool.  WTF?? Seriously! This squirrel has taken it to a whole new level! Or so I thought…


I got back to sweeping, moved some giant pots and found this stack of leaves, and cardboard, and all this other stuff.  What in the world?? I started sweeping it out from the corner and then I heard it:





Mother of Pearl please do not tell me….oh that’s right.

It’s a bloody squirrel nest!   Before I knew it, Mama had returned, who I chased off with a broom just to grab some composure.  I don’t want to have to the hospital on a Saturday night for a rabies shot!

Now, I am not completely cold hearted.  The baby squirrel is naked and tiny and so ugly it’s damn heartbreaking.  But the last thing I need is for them to think they can start building condo’s on my balcony.  I don’t want them posting a sign saying  “Home is where the Nest is” and completely destroy all flowers and seedlings I hope to plant this year.

I went back out to take these pictures for this post, and Mama had come back and I’m pretty sure was carrying the ugly naked baby in her mouth fleeing to the 3rd floor. 

I hope they find the view from the 3rd floor just spectacular, and start developing their condo up there. 

I know it’s not the end of my encounter with squirrels, it just seems to be starting earlier this year. 

Stay tuned my friends, there will be more stories to tell, you can bet your tulips there will be.

Ciao for now,


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